Let it Go

A week or so ago a friend from my High School days in Kansas posted this picture on Instagram, or maybe it was Facebook, either way...

With this caption:

"Trying to implement my favorite ee cummings poem as my holiday season mantra.#everyonehasanopinion #family"

I think I could just say, Amen, and call it a post.  However the hashtags would be different on mine. They would be more like this....

#idiscoverediambecominguptightinmyoldage
#desireperfectiondaily
#setmyselfupfordisappointment
#donotwanttoturnintogrumpyholidaymom

I decided "LET IT GO" was going to become my Holiday Season Mantra too.  Let me tell you, there was a time when I did not need this banner.  No one needed to tell me to "Let it Go" because I let everything go!  I was EASY GOING.  Really people, I was.  I think I let a little TOO MUCH go!  Ha ha.  Now I thought that as life goes on, our weaknesses can become strengths-not the other way around!  I thought having a house full of children helps you to "let it go" a little more.  Not the case here.

This week I had a bit of a wake up call from a couple different kids, because if you are trying to sleep, even if metaphorically, kids will be the first to wake you up.

One of my sons asked me why I had kids.  He then proceeded to tell me he wasn't sure if I could handle the job.  Nothing like a boost of mom-self confidence for your child to tell you that in all seriousness. He then mentioned how I seemed frustrated all the time.

This was after I got after the kids for their not listening for the millionth time and leaving their stuff out eternally, and fighting one too many times for the day.  STOP already I said!!!!!  Frustrated would be an UNDERSTATEMENT!!!!!!!

Then I was tucking in my daughter and she said, "Mom, you always teach us nice things, but then you don't always act nice, sometimes you are mean.  But, it's okay, even if you are mean I still like you.  I will always like you."

First, can we tape that part about you always liking me even when I am mean so I can play it back for you when you are 15?  Second, ouch number two in one week.

I asked her and the son that said the first statement this, "When Mom wants you to do something, and you are not listening to me, or when I want you to STOP something, and you don't listen..how would you like me to tell you in a nice way, so you don't feel like I am stressed and mean?"   My daughter gave me a suggestion, and we did a role play, all the while my son was listening.  Then he jumped in, "Ya, that is NOT going to work. If you are that nice no one is going to listen to you."  See, I told you so!   I explained how at school there are rules for the school to maintain order and learning, and that at home we have to have rules too.  They then gave me ideas their teachers use....

"Hands on Top means Stop." 

 (All the kids put their hands on their head and stop.)

"One, two, three- eyes on me."  

You get the idea.  Anyway, I am going to try and be more PATIENT, and KIND when I discipline. A LONG time ago, before I even had kids, I remember seeing on Oprah something about "Do your eyes light up when your child walks in the room?"   I have ALWAYS tried to stop what I am doing and have my "eyes light up"  when I first see them in the morning, or after school, or whenever.  I think I do pretty good with the little ones on this.  However, I am afraid my eyes have not been lighting up when my older ones walk in the room and they can tell.  Sometimes I ask them how their day was and meanwhile, I am mentally running through my daily task list.  I am stressed and I think that is what shows in my eyes instead of excitement and gratitude.  The whole "eyes light up" thing was just for your children but I think it would be such a great thing to do with your spouse.  I think if I looked up at Ryan with some big ol' bright eyes he might ask me if I am on something!  

So, I am going to try this season to LET IT GO....and just ENJOY this wonderful season of my life.  I am doing what I want to be doing, and what I have always wanted to do.  This is my time, and so I need to just let the unimportant things go.  And I might even have to let a little of what I think are important things go.  Because they might be important, but they are not essential.  

What?  Sophie just dumped an entire Sam's Club size contained of crackers on the floor while someone was supposed to be watching her?   Let it go.    

I walk in the boys bathroom and see that flushing is just not something that is going to happen anytime soon around here on a regular basis.  Neither is aiming.  Let it go.  

The kids hate the meal I cooked.  It's not personal.  Let it go.  

I didn't get to make every friend and acquittance the perfect Christmas gift.  Let it go.  

I didn't get to serve everyone I wanted to at Church.  I didn't volunteer for this or that at school.  The Lord knows I am doing my best, and no one is complaining I don't do more.  It is only me that cares.  So let it go.  

I am up two pounds on the scale.  Let it go. 

I just cleaned out the car and vacuumed it and somehow there is already several odd shoes floating around, crushed crackers, and a spilled soda.  Let it go.  

My garage is a mess.  Let it go. 

No one made their bed before school.  Let it go.  

Someone hurts my feelings.  Let it go, they most likely didn't mean it.  

We don't have Christmas Lights up outside.  Let it go. 

I didn't get everyone's hair styled and done perfectly before leaving the house.  Let it go. 

The kids want to help with the baking and so the cookies are a little hard and don't look pretty.  Let it go. 

My spouse doesn't like to clean in his spare time.  A. He doesn't have a lot of spare time.  B.  Who does? Let it go. 

I didn't get to every single tradition I wanted to do this season.  Let it go.  Keep the Focus on Christ and what is important, and that's all that matters, not the latest do it yourself project on Pinterest. 

I will not be the only one trying to LET IT GO.  I told the kids, since they have been fighting a lot it seems, that they need to practice letting things go and forgiving each other.  

Pretty soon, when I tell them to go make their bed, I can see them saying, "Mom, let it go, seriously, focus on what matters!"  So I better be careful about my new slogan.  :)